Author Archive

Jesus Christ Pose(r)

Seattle Prodigal Son, Chris Cornell, prepares to release the much marketed new record with producer Timberland.
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When I first heard Justin Timberlake’s sophomore record, Future Sex /Love Sounds, I was really impressed by Timbalands production. Justine Timberlake is a pop star.
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Chris Cornell on the other hand…
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I spent a good portion of the evening making notes on how horribly wrong this record is. From Timbalands introduction of Cornell, MC style…to, well…
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Chris Cornell, you betrayed all that is rock and you have made a mockery of the city and people you historically entrusted to be your support.  I lower my head for the city of Seattle. When the titans fall… can they really continue to land on the merits of their back catalogue and the ferocity of their egos?
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That’s actually my entire review.
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If you want to hear this train wreck derail yourself go to

www.myspace.com/chriscornell
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I almost pissed myself laughing.

Posted by Chris Morales | Filed in Album Reviews on March 15th, 2009| 15 Comments »

 

Inside the Mouth of the Reptile

We need to take into consideration “who” owns the Crocodile. Marcus can call in whoever he wants for opening night… but the publicly named financiers are Susan Silver and Sean Kinney.It is quite possible, since they were there for such moments when REM, The Beastie Boys and that little band called ‘Nirvana’ graced the stage that they would be looking at the Croc to be landmark on a national level.
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crocodile1There is a very public rumor going around that the CROC will ONLY be open for show nights, that bartenders from other venues will be scheduled in for show nights, that OFF nights will service as a pizza joint… Like I said, a lot of rumors. Will the rumors be substantiated? No, because a rumor ‘not clarified’ travels farther. Since the public relations are keeping very close to the belt on this… everyone is talking but no one is saying a thing. But we all know, ‘the CROC is reopening’.
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But lets be real, they just spent a butt load of cash putting this thing together… would they make more money playing three nights of Alice in Chains (Susan Manages them and Sean sits behind the drum set), Mudhoney or even Pearl Jam… or one night of the Fleet Foxes. In defense of the owners interests, they are used to making national splashes when they involve themselves in projects. I doubt the first few weeks will be more then just key spots and public perception. A destination point while visiting Seattle, like any bar, it’s all about the alcohol sales… we all know that.
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I may be wrong, but I worked with venues in Chicago for years and… well… the Croc’s marketing and ‘super secret’ publicity is suspiciously familiar.
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I was talking to a friends of mine at Alternative Press the other day and he specifically questioned about the CROC reopening. I told his that it was gonna be an anamatronic theme venue, like chunky cheese pizza time theater. It will be a seattle legends robot show. All dead rock legends robotically perfected to JAM together for an hour and a half every night… narrated by Bill Gates and sponsored by Mircosoft Xbox Guitar hero. At the end of the show Jimi and Kurt will match guitar flames as white smoke representing ‘speaker cabinet explosions’ burts into the air and confetti falls from the ceiling as the looming shadow of Courtney Love waits in the wings.
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He didn’t buy it…

So… to all you profiteers or war, you vultures waiting to pick bones and judge, you cast asides with your mullets and autographed Queensryche vinyl… we know no more today then yesterday… but the Croc is reopening next month.

Posted by Chris Morales | Filed in Music, Venues on February 6th, 2009| Comment now »

 

A sad return to the Ether…

It’s always sad when a great internet idea gets it’s pink slip.
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San Fransisco based music visionaries, FUZZ.com, is/was a site dedicated increasing the collaboration of artists, fans, and others in the music industry. Funny good ideas can fall so hard.
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Fuzz.com sent this email from their Goat Headquaurters. Sadly, we are contacting you to announce that Fuzz.com is shutting down on February 13, 2009. Between now and then you may want to take the opportunity to post your forwarding information to fellow Fuzz users. It was with a heavy heart that we finally made the decision to turn off the lights, but because of increasing operating costs and flat revenues it simply no longer makes sense for us to keep Fuzz.com running. We offer our heartfelt thanks for being a part of it, and we’d like to give a special added thanks our avid, core users — true music fans who made Fuzz their home-base, and created a real sense of community.
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That is all.

Posted by Chris Morales | Filed in Music on January 22nd, 2009| 8 Comments »

 

Anatomy of the Mix Tape

mix tapesI love mix tapes.
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I grew up in Chicago and the mix tape was the bond that held most high school relationships together, such time and energy, hours of pondering and pontification, toiling and trauma. Into each cassette classic was a plagiarized journal of a million random artists who happened to be the right track at the right time. We balanced ourselves through the lines of lyrics, in the length of composition, the accuracy or individual ownership of a cover song. We found our strength in the power of song and the humbling but calming feeling that we were not alone in our joy, our pain, our confusion.
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Where I came from, a mix tape meant the world. When communication was awkward, we could let Patty Smith or Jeff Buckley help to bare our souls. It was the one chance for the nerd with great audio taste to whoo the pom poms off a varsity cheerleader. It was once explained to me that there is a solid template to which mix tapes need adhere. Remember, a mix tape was a statement, a plea… a last resort. Since this was our most naked moment, it needed to perfectly reflect the overwhelming (and most probably overstated) message in out heart and head.
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The parameters of the mix tape.
1) Before ever hitting record, it was important to list off the songs in an emotional order. This will take some time. The collage needs to share a theme. You have to imagine the recipient, what you want of that recipient, focus on what the first note might be that could control their attention.
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2) All the songs must flow into and out each other seamlessly. It seems self defeating to make a “break up” mix tape consisting of Peter Murphy, The Cure and This Mortal Coil but then add Cinderella into the mix. Its faux pas to make a Party mix that had The Sex Pistols, the Damned and the Dead Kennedy’s but then add the Carpenters half way through it. Think like a “DJ to an audience of one” and not like an “agenda to THE CAUSE”.
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3) NEVER SPEAK INTO THE RECORDER FOR ANY REASON!!!! No explaining. Vague is your precision – interpretation your box of candy.
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4) While recording the mix tape but sure to draft cover art that is unique to your vision. Collages of Rolling Stone images, National Geographic and other prime pictorial work very well, just keep the images ambiguous. Never send a girl a “I want to get to know you” mix tape with collaged images that include anything semi or totally naked. (Unless you’re courting THAT girl..) Also, never include images with anything phallic, like bananas, cucumbers, Dutch Fire hydrants or singular skyscrapers. Sometimes a banana is just a banana, but never in high school.
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5) Also, draft a catchy name for the mix tape and a well written catalog for the songs. Add your name somewhere so that credit is given correctly.
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I know there are many out there who were creators and recipients Mix Tapes. Everyone has a tale about one in particular. I am comfortable saying that my virginity was lost to a girl who made a mix tape as the soundtrack to the entire fumbled experience. She actually halted our special moment until Peter Gabriel’s “In your eyes”, graced the speakers of her mom’s Taurus. Yep… true story.
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Got a Mix tape story..?

Posted by Chris Morales | Filed in Music on October 21st, 2008| 13 Comments »