Seattle Subsonic

A brief history of Alex “Fobbs” DiFabio or Why You Might Care What I Have to Say.

March 12th, 2010

I was about 11 terribly wordy words deep into my bio when I realized I can’t write a bio. So instead I asked my good friend Manny to say a few things about me. Since it seems that people are more likely to read lists than a few threatening paragraphs, I told him to come up with 5 interesting things about his good friend Alex. Here is his list:
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1. At age three Alex participated in a government funded genealogical experiment. The main goal was, in short, to turn 3 year-olds into 3 and-a-half-year-olds. The whole process took about 6 months but I’ll be damned if Alex didn’t toddle out of that place a full half year older. So think about this next time you see Alex: that 26 and a half year old is really only 26, but you’d never even know it. Spooky.
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2. While earning a Music Business degree at Indiana University, Alex interned at sister labels Secretly Canadian and Jagjaguar. Sometimes he would show up, sometimes he wouldn’t. It was there that he was granted the enigmatic status for which he so desperately yearned.
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3. Alex cut his teeth as a musician playing the spoons in a tribute band. The band exclusively covered music from the 1968 film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They called themselves Shitty Shitty Band Band. Reception was mixed.
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4. Alex begins everyday with a mug of Amaretto. It’s a tradition that started while playing on a prison rugby team in southern Italy, it’s actually where I met Alex. He was originally booked for refusing to pee indoors… and he hasn’t since, and he won’t. I once asked him why and he replied, “I mean, how garish is that? Peeing indoors… Who am I, the president?” So if it’s a swordfight you’re looking for, it will have to be a duel alfresco.
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5. I regularly read Alex’s journal. Here is an excerpt from a Christmas entry entitled “Fun with Santa’s Sack”:

So this year I was donned with a few wrapped treasures courtesy of a handful of thoughtful family members. The piece de resistance was my very first iPod which I think officially makes me the only laggard that will never see social security. What should’ve been an apt and useful dowry really only means I damaged my computer trying to use it. So in the box it remains, bereft of a lifetime of sonic supplement due to the ineptitude of its bearer. What came last in the mail was an intriguing artifact leftover from the bygone era of cheeky 1980s cinema: a DVD curiously titled “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.” I was familiar with the work and I must say it piqued my interest as to what led this cousin of mine to settle on such a selection. That he would not only choose for my entertainment a juvenile, mindless tandem such as Bill and Ted, but also opt for the obvious lesser of the series, was quite provoking. Should I be touched that he delved so deeply into the cracks of modern cinema to extract such an obscure title that he thought might fit the recipient? Should I be insulted that he expected this stoner claptrap to appeal to his beloved cousin? For three minutes I stood there mildly bemused by the situation trying to make ends of it all. If I was embarrassed at the possibility of this being a “good gift,” I wouldn’t regain my dignity with what I did next, which was to screen it immediately.

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Wow thanks Manny, you’ve painted such an intimate portrait. This was about as useful as a 50 cent gift card to the dollar store. The bottom line folks, is that I know music, more than I know baseball, and I know Juan Castro’s career stats. I’m appreciative of the opportunity and am looking forward to contributing a new perspective.