Jesus Christ Pose(r)
March 15th, 2009
Seattle Prodigal Son, Chris Cornell, prepares to release the much marketed new record with producer Timberland.
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When I first heard Justin Timberlake’s sophomore record, Future Sex /Love Sounds, I was really impressed by Timbalands production. Justine Timberlake is a pop star.
.
Chris Cornell on the other hand…
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I spent a good portion of the evening making notes on how horribly wrong this record is. From Timbalands introduction of Cornell, MC style…to, well…
.
Chris Cornell, you betrayed all that is rock and you have made a mockery of the city and people you historically entrusted to be your support. I lower my head for the city of Seattle. When the titans fall… can they really continue to land on the merits of their back catalogue and the ferocity of their egos?
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That’s actually my entire review.
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If you want to hear this train wreck derail yourself go to
www.myspace.com/chriscornell
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I almost pissed myself laughing.








March 16th, 2009 at 7:37 am
The Lady said:
Oh lordy. Maybe don’t listen to this first thing on a Monday morning.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:21 am
misterlevitan said:
The calculus is simple: is Chris Cornell releasing a record or performing with a band, or is it a solo touchy-feely wankfest?
Despite the presence of a few highlights, CC solo material is shite. Always has been, and presumably always will be. Not all of the Audioslave stuff was solid, but the instrumentation was live and there was no MC posturing, even when they covered RATM songs.
I sorta liken his career to that of The Thin White Duke: I’ve almost never understood his style choices, jumping from space-rock oddities to glam to pop to the industrial stuff. Seems like he’s trying to play whatever’s “in”. Maybe Bowie’s more of a visionary than I give him credit for, but CC is just downright blind.
Damn, how the mighty have fallen.
March 16th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Kevin leDoux said:
Holy hell, Moralas, you went easy on him in that review… He’s gone from Audioslave to Audio VD.
That “bitch” ate the wrong part of him.. it should been his throat.
March 16th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
C-Leb said:
I heard he was on Kimmel the other night and it was like watching a train wreck and/or Tommy Lee to sing to Pam Anderson at her celebrity roast… Hey remember when Hammer made a hard core rap song outa 2 Legit, wait… so did Vanilla Ice with Ice Ice Baby… hey theres a pattern here!
March 16th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Chris Craig said:
Other greats that made bad music on their own? Eric Clapton all through the 80′s, Scott Weiland, Paul McCartney, Rob Dickenson, Ozzy, I know I’m missing some other good ones….
March 16th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
misterlevitan said:
I didn’t know Weiland did a solo record.
John Lennon and Yoko.
I don’t care much for David Byrne after Talking Heads
Honeydrippers, anyone?
Coverdale/Page? Yech.
I don’t care for Stone Gossard’s writing or singing
Exceptions:
Matt Cameron’s work as half of The Wellwater Conspiracy
Jimmie Vaughan’s work is at least as good as the T-Birds.
Dan Auerbach obviously rocks.
People went nuts for that “Into the Wild” soundtrack
Tracy Thorn.
I will think of more as soon as I hit “Submit Comment”
March 17th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Chris Craig said:
Weiland put out “12 Bar Blues” about the same time the DeLeo Bros. put out that album with the guy from Filter. He also had one come out last summer. Can’t remember the title. Too lazy to google. Awful though. Brave putting Lennon up there. w/o yoko I think he avoids the list.
March 17th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
fobbs said:
Neil Young didn’t really do much after Buffalo Springfield…
March 18th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Chris Morales said:
Poor Susan Silver,
Anyone who knows her history knows that she championed SoundGarden from day one. But now, to have her crown Jewel, and the father of her children, morph into this this!?!
I wonder if she tells the kids, ” Dad works on an oil rig in Alaska”?
A few months back, my video director took his wife to the last Chris Cornell show (paramount) and he was PISSED! Not only did Chris play the show with Djs and lights and hoopla… He never once played back catalog work…
Not one song…
Soundgarbage!
To contrast scripture, if Chris Cornell was Cain… Seattle is his dead brother Able.
Many have commented to me that I am being too rigid with my assessment of Mr. Cornell’s sophomore solo effort, that i don’t ‘get’ creative nuance, that I don’t understand what it is to be held in a box titled ‘Seattle’… Someone even told me I should try making a record myself sometime…
Well, here is my retort.
From a career that spans twenty years you would expect a self proclaimed musical genius to have the testicles to begin the aging process gracefully, to begin crafting a new road using the blueprints of Tom Waits or Brian Selzer? But no, Chris chose to copy the process of Candy pop culture and for this, well, Chris Cornell has finally become the full embodiment of his own parody.
Imagine this: Chris Cornell on MTV kids awards with Britney Spears and Hanna Montana thanking all of Justine Timberlake’s fans for the support and ‘keeping it real’.
Chris, No Junk no Soul!
I will go down to my street corner and buy you heroin if it means you writing something of substance again.
April 1st, 2009 at 8:15 am
Kevin leDoux said:
I just found this little gem. It’s not GREAT… but it’s pretty damn funny and entirely relevant
LOL-Cornell
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:54 am
Chris Craig said:
Saw this over at Line Out. Great satire from Trent Reznor about Chris Cornell. I found the track list especially funny.
http://www.nin.com/strobelight/
April 6th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Chris Morales said:
Ok, the flicker pages were funny… but Nine inch Nails slamming Chris cornell is fucking priceless. Yes Chris, that track listing is hysterical!
April 17th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Chris Morales said:
I fucking Hate you Kevin! Now I have a copy of this tragic record on in my house. My Cats won’t go near it. Animals tend to avoid the sick and dying.
My girlfriend thinks that keeping it in the house is akin to mantling framed photos of Saudi Arabian midday beheading executions.
I am afraid of reselling it to Cellophane Square. I want to retain my dignity.
I cant throw it away because the EPA will come after me.
Vultures wont even pick at it’s carcass
July 10th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Ethan Cornell said:
I suggest you call 877-235-0400 and make an appointment since you’re all clearly on drugs. Thats actually my entire cross examination of your review and subsequent comments.
July 20th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Chris Morales said:
Ethan,
Yes, I had to be on drugs when I heard that record… but not as strong as the ones you’re on for actually commenting back.
Silly Ethan….
Ego today… Chris Cornell Tomorrow